- Helping Others in Grief - The Power of Active Listening and Companioning -

By Helen Holmes republished on October 17, 2017

We all encounter the same dilemma of not knowing what to say and do when with someone who is in grief. It can be hard for you to say a word for a friend who lost her loved one or a relative who just got divorced. Sometimes, dealing with our problems is much easier than helping others deal with their difficulties primarily because we are not in the position to tell how bad they feel inside. In times like this, your presence is far more important. Being with people who grieve is much better than doing something to ease the pain.

Offering Help May Do More Harm than Good

When dealing with someone who is in grief, our initial reaction is to offer some help. For a person who lost his job, you might think of asking him to try a different career or sharing some tips on finding a better job. For someone who just got divorced, you might think of telling her that there are so many guys in the world better than her ex partner. While these things sound really comforting, these may just do harm to a person in grief. Sometimes, it’s easy to say that doing this and that will make them feel better. But if you are to put yourself in their position, you will somehow realise it’s not. If you get fired in the job you worked so hard to obtain, you can’t simply move on and find another work. If you are the one who has been divorced, you wouldn’t really think of finding another partner when you’re still deeply in love with your spouse. The point here is – it’s their process and not yours. We all have different methods of coping with problems.

So what can you do? First, you need to avoid giving remedies or advices unless you are being asked to. Some people feel much worse when they feel that something is wrong with them. Don’t say you understand what he or she feels because no one can. You may have gone through the same situation your friend is going through right now but it doesn’t mean you feel exactly what he or she feels. Instead of offering a ‘fix’ to their problems, the best thing to do is to be physically, mentally, and emotionally present for that person.

Listening and Companioning are the Key

Listening seems to be very easy. But for others, it can be very difficult. Before you go and see your friend in despair, make sure to leave all of your other plans behind. Be certain that you will be around for the rest of the day comforting that person and not going through your inbox, text messages, and so on. These things can wait for sure. Give your attention to your friend or to your loved one and take away anything that can destruct your attention. Feel the pain and try to understand it. Sometimes, we really don’t need to say a word just to make other people feel that we are there for them amidst troubles and difficulties. Just being there, listening, and empathising could be enough to console them and make them feel better.

@Copyright 2017 by www.NaturalTherapyForAll.com All Rights Reserved 

Featured Practitioner: Lauris Morgan-Griffiths

Other Practitioners: NLP Hastings

Prev: - Drinking Two Large Glasses of Wine a Day Doubles the Risk of Certain Cancers, Campaign Warns -
Next: - Ware’s ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying’ -

Stay informed! FREE subscription to the NaturalTherapyForAll’s email newsletter

Your email privacy 100% protected. Unsubscribe at any time.

Social Connection
NaturalTherapyForAll.com is not responsible for the content of the published articles written by members and visitors. The views expressed in these articles are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of NaturalTherapyForAll.com. Always seek the advice from qualified healthcare professionals with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.