The concept of love has been a subject of numerous research but until now, is among those that are least understood. Many has been written about love and hundreds of researches, whether large or small, have tried to understand what love really is and how people can make it last.
But what could be a better way to understand more of this seemingly bizarre concept than to ask couples who have been ‘in love’ for decades. In a study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, scientists revealed the secrets towards a more intense, passionate, and fulfilling relationship.
Long Term Marriage
Many people believe that the longer you stay in an intimate relationship, the more it gets boring. But rather being doomed in a mediocre and bland relationship, couples who have been together for 10 years or more were found to be more in love than those who have just started. In the study led by K. Daniel O’Leary from the Stony Brook University in New York, 40% of married couples who have been together for 10 years or more stated that they are ‘intensely in love’. Furthermore, those who have been married for over 30 years gave their relationships high ratings, with 40% of women and 35% of men saying they’re very much in love. This only means one thing – love just gets stronger in time.
But not all married couples are able to endure long-term relationships. Just like in cooking, no dish tastes great without a secret ingredient. And even if it’s the perfect dish, eating the same food every day makes it bland and less enjoyable, until you make variations. Below are some tips to strengthen a long-term relationship and make it even longer:
Begin it with a friendship
Making friends to someone you’re seeking to be in a relationship with is vital. This is where you get to know each other. Make the most out of your friendship by uncovering new things about each other until you have become very much familiar with him or her.
Build a strong passion for love
People who deal with their everyday life with zest and passion tend to do the same with their relationships.
Focused on your partner’s strengths, not his or her weaknesses
You want to be more in love with your partner and not irritated or disappointed. Love is seeing the beauty of another despite the presence of their flaws.
NEVER try to cheat
Cheating is among the most unforgivable mistakes for many couples. Never consider cheating even if you simply want to make your partner a bit jealous, unless otherwise, you’re open to the possibility of breaking up with him or her.
Never lose sight of each other, at least in your mind
If you’re at work or somewhere far, always think about your partner. If you tend to forget about his or her existence from time to time, it’s a sign that you’re not much in love.
Spend quality time with each other
Amidst your busy schedules, take time to be with your partner. Go out and have a romantic dinner, watch a movie, have a picnic, go to the beach, travel together, etc. Experts suggest trying out novel activities – something you have tried before, like bungee jumping or anything that poses a challenge that both of you need to go through.
Being in love isn’t always lying on the bed of roses. There are pitfalls along the way. But no matter how hard the situation is, the both of you can get through it if you stay committed.
Achieve a consummated love
There are three aspects of love, said a psychologist who spent years studying love – Dr Sternberg. These are intimacy, passion, and commitment. Physical attraction falls under intimacy while commitment is the ability to stay within a relationship for a very long time.
It’s more than words
A touch on the shoulder or a kiss on the cheeks is great way to express one’s love. Don’t forget to show your partner how much he or she means to you.
Engage in sexual activities
In a study by Daniel O’Leary, it was found that happy couples tend to have sex regularly. This is because sexual activity strengthens the couple’s feelings of happiness and love.
There’s no precise formula for a long lasting love. But with these tips, couples can strengthen their relationship and make it more meaningful for a long time.